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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?